once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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