well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
