they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
