The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
