Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
