i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
