You really coming over, don't trick.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
