About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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