just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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