i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
