What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
