It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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