well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize