And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
