It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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