This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
