Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
