writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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