I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize