I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
