do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
