i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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