just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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