You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
