He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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