Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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