Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
