I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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