I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So apparently I’m into choking now
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
