The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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