I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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