Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
