We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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