It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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