Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
