I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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