dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Someone signed my nipple.
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