Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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