'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
