the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
