She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have already put on my inside pants.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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