high people should be assigned attendants
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm at about main and main street
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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