I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You can't special order awesome
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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