im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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