Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
