why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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