Where did you get a picture of my penis
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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