How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
