Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
