That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
