how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
