So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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