sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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