im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
