Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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