She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
