So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
They took my balls.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
