last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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