the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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