new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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