I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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