then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
