so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
