At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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