I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
