sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
