Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
