The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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