I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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