I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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