Where are you?
In a non slutty way
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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