Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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