Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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