I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
