I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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