I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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