You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
